A rant about Twilight...

image via google images

I do not like Twilight, let's get that clear right from the get go, so if you're a Twilight fan you should probably stop reading now and instead go buy some posters of Edward Cullen.

I've never read any of the Twilight books nor have I seen any of the films. This is mainly to be able to say that I've never read any of the Twilight books or seen any of the films. This said, I somehow manage to know the whole bloody (pun-intended) story-line from the sheer amount of hype about the whole thing.

For starters, vampires are not cool, nor are they sexy. They bite you, suck your blood and it would seem leave you pregnant with a half monster baby; real sound vampires, real sound. Not only that, but the vampires in twilight don't even seem to wear capes, the most kickass thing about vampires, and they sparkle like little fancy boys! Let's be honest, if you were Kirsten Stewart, who would you go for; the sparkly, grey pallor-ed, cape-less vampire boy or the awesome werwolf that she also seems to be mates with. 

DISCLAIMER: DUE TO THE FACT I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY READ THE BOOKS OR SEEN THE FILMS I AM GOING BY WHAT I SEE IN THE ADDS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM FRIEND'S DISCUSSIONS ABOUT THE TOPIC.

Anyways, yeah so you might argue that Twilight and Harry Potter are the same type of thing, WRONGO! Harry Potter is about wizards that are awesome who clearly have a one up on the vampires anyways cos they've got capes. Plus Harry Potter's got dragons in it.

In short, I will not be going to see the new Twilight this weekend, mainly because I'm scared I'll actually enjoy it and not be able to rant anymore, but don't tell anyone.